Someone in my life has recently hurt me very deeply. This person said some things about me that were cruel. There is no other word that describes the things that were said. I asked a good Christian friend of mine whether or not you always have to "forgive and forget." Of course I know in my heart that the answer to that question is yes. It was really weighing on me though and interestingly as I read a Christian site online I found a good answer that made sense.
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The article was about how forgiving someone doesn't mean that the person doesn't have to face any consequences. If a person has broken your trust and hurt you, you can forgive them, but you can also guard yourself more around them. You must forgive, but you don't have to give them back the trust they had before. It made sense to me that I should forgive, but yet I don't have to open the door to being hurt again. It doesn't make me a bad person to protect myself in the future.
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This whole situation is what has kept me from blogging lately. It's hard to focus on anything else when things like this happen.
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I have also struggled in the past with contributing to conversations that are of the gossip nature. I have come to realize how much these conversations can cause problems and hurt people. I'm focusing and working hard on not talking about other people or their situations.
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For those who read and responded to my daughter's Kindergarten post, thank you. She is still bored with school, but I'm trying to wait and see what the next few weeks bring. We have parent-teacher conferences next month and hopefully by that time we will have a better idea of where everything stands. Thank you so much!
3 comments:
"forgiving someone doesn't mean that the person doesn't have to face any consequences."
That's a powerful statement right there. One that I really need to remember. I do have trouble forgiving because I feel like it releases them from all consequences. Now I see that it doesn't have to.
One of my favorite quotes is, "There is a difference between forgiveness and holding someone accountable for their actions."
We can forgive a criminal, but that doesn't mean they don't have to fulfill their sentence.
Have you read the Boundaries book by Cloud/Townsend? EXCELLENT book that taught me a lot in this area.
I've had situations in my life where forgiving and ending the relationship was the right thing to do. "Forgive" is good, being a doormat to toxic people is not a Christian idea. I pray your situation gets resolved with the least amount of trauma possible.
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