Saturday, June 23, 2007

Thinking - Wanting

Do any of you who are done having children ever think that you want another child? I feel so often that I want a third baby. My husband is totally against another pregnancy. He says that we have a daughter and a son, both who arrived healthy, what more could we ask for? I guess because my little one is 3 years old and no longer a baby I am feeling like I want another one. I was always open to possibly having three children and at one time my husband was as well. He just feels that financially we can't afford any more. He wants to give his current family all that he can without adding anything else. I had two wonderful pregnancies and can't imagine never experiencing all that again. I will of course respect what my husband wants, but there are days when it is difficult. I mention a third baby every once in a while just in case he changes his mind, but personally I would want one soon or not at all. I think the age difference is rapidly approaching being too much! I guess I'm really just thinking out loud. I know that someone out there is probably facing similar feelings. It's nice to know that you're not alone in your thoughts.


Pinks & Blues Girls said...

I loved your post. My girlfriend and I were just talking about this at dinner the other night. Her husband does not want her to have any more children due to finances, but she knows in her heart she is not done. She's hoping she can try and convince him. But I saw the spark in her eye and the passion and urge for another... do you feel it that much? I'm forwarding your blog address to her!!
Love your blog and your name!!!!!
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls

A Hoosier Family said...

When my husband and I were engaged we always said we wanted 4 kids. When we got married I put it entirely in the Lord's hands. He created life within me when it was His time. I always prayed that the Lord would have to allow something to happen so I would know I was physically done having children. I just didn't know it would come in the form of Ovarian Cancer. The surgery to remove the cancer took all my female organs. It's physically impossible for me to have any more kids. I grieve. My "baby" is now 7. He's getting older, taller, bigger. When he completes something (ie 1st Grade) I cry. When he starts something new, I cry. I do know I'm getting too old to take care of a baby, but yet I still miss not having a #4. Time keeps marching on. If my oldest has kids at the age when I had him, I can be a Grandma in 6 more years. YIKES. Sorry to not be of more encouragement. I don't know if the desire will ever go away! ((Hugs))

Hope said...

My husband had a vasectomy 4 months ago. We both knew it was the right decision, but we both have moments when we miss babyhood. I really think it's simply dealing with the fact that our kids (now 5 and 2) aren't babies anymore and that time seemed to have slipped by so quickly...maybe before we were ready. Good luck. Hope

Katie - bimw said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! We currently have a boy and a girl, (4.5 & 2.5), and as you know, are now expecting our 3rd baby. When we were dating, and first married, I would always tell my husband I wanted 4 kids. He says now that he just thought I was kidding! I wasn't! ;) He would have been very happy with just two, and so excited if I had felt the same way. We started talking about having our 3rd baby almost a year ago. At the time my husband really wasn't ready, and he said, 'give me 6 months to pray about this, and then we will talk about it.' He said the idea of 3 kids scared him so badly he just really needed to pray a lot and seek God's direction in that - which I was very thankful for, even though it was hard to wait! After that time of praying (during which I really tried to leave him alone about it), he told me that he was willing to welcome as many children as God would have in our family. He thinks very practically, and I am more of a dreamer, so this is a huge step of faith for him.

But I know that feeling of wondering if I would not ever be pregnant again, or experience having a baby again. And even with this third one, I think the same things...desiring to cherish the memories of this pregnancy/delivery, because there is no way for me to know if this is my last baby, only God knows!

I definitly feel for you, and know exactly where you are coming from. It is so refreshing to hear that you are honoring your husband and his decision in this, even though it isn't exactly what you want!

shelly said...

I am totally in the same situation. I have a soon to be 6 year old daughter and 20 month old son. I am so blessed that I have one of each and that they are healthy. I get that itch once in a while but my husband is very against another baby as well. If it is God's will it will happen but it is sad to put an end to my reproductive life and say no more children. I miss that connection too. It is so hard to move to that next phase of life.

Kelly said...

Just stopping by (and going back in time) to thank you for visiting my site -- and this post really got me.

I was in this exact situation about two years ago. We had one girl, one boy. My husband said we were done. I didn't think so. After much struggle, both externally and internally, I finally left it in God's hands. If we were meant to have another baby, He would have to change my husband's mind. I'd already given it my best shot, and it only threatened to crumble the new foundation our marriage was building upon.

And lo and behold -- about a year later, my husband did a complete about-face. When he called me to say, out of the blue, "I think we should think about another baby," I almost threw up. It was that sudden.

So you never know. I can say that before my husband's phone call, I had reached a great place with the thought of only having two. I had peace about it.

And now, I'm pregnant with #3 (and we had a miscarriage in February, so technically, it's pregnancy #4). God can do anything.